Not the man
by Steven Clotzman
See that hillside burning, that’s my hopes and dreams
But other things aren’t always what they seems
I wrote to song to make you happy
But you cried like a baby
Guess I’m not the man you hoped that I might be
In the thirty years since the days we turned eighteen
I could feel the distance growing in between
Will I lose you to the silence?
Or a few words now left for me?
I’m not the man you hoped that I might be.
Peaks and valleys and hairpin turns don’t make for a smooth ride
Still it wouldn’t have been so bad, you say, if there had been another side
I can’t say what’s right for me is right for you
All I know is this something hard to do
I’m all twisted up on the inside
And sorry, yes, trust me
That I’m not the man you hoped that I might be
It’s so strange, the names and faces that come to mind
When you’re looking for that thing you just can’t find?
I shouldn’t have listened to my daddy
When he said, stand by what you believe
Now I’m not the man you hoped that I might be.
You say bills to pay, mouths to feed, it all was just too real
But did I take your heart and hock it or did I beg, borrow, and steal?
I could bring up all the promises you made
But rumbling overhead’s a cloud of gray
I’ve been pissed off, put off, and laid off
At the cost of being free
Guess I’m not the man you hoped I might be