A guy named "me"
by Steven Clotzman

I’m sitting on the pier—I don’t know if it’s autumn or May.
The Ferris wheel’s standing still, not that it matters either way
See, I’m looking for this guy he used to play around here for free
You might call him inspiration, I prefer “worst enemy.”
I know it’s not the kind of thing anyone wants to hear about these days
But how do you give up on something that’s always just one day away?
I’m fighting the worst urges with a paddle against the sea
Drifting in and out, and looking for a guy named “me”

I spend my days on the job and the nights locked up in my head.
Wishing I could rewrite every little thing that I’ve said
Sometimes people ask me why and anyway, would it be of much use?
I don’t know what to say, it’s not like I enjoy the abuse
But memories fade and time has a mind of its own
Still, it wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have to face it alone
You say, no one knows the future, let alone what it might mean
So, am I’m running from the past or looking for a guy named “me”?

Maybe I got it wrong, my friends are all gone
Or at least busy raising children
It’s a nice little way, I’m sure, to spend the days
Without having to think about what could have been

Call me sentimental; call me a fool, if you want
All the believing that I’ve done can be summed up as one single taunt
If that seems a little much; well, excuse me, I’m not really myself
I just spent another weekend drinking alone to my health
Well, I’ve looked in Santa Monica and even as far as L.A.
Funny thing is, if I find him I’m not even sure what I’ll say
So many dreamless nights and you know they aren’t free
Tripping over these two feet, looking for a guy named “me”

He’s the guy on the stage that’s coming of age
Without even knowing what it’s bringing
While I’m sitting here, just shaking in fear
Of the truth in the words that I’m singing

I don’t understand it but no one ever said that I would
They say people come and go, well, I only wish that I could
I’ve had fortunetellers curse me with all the blessings of birth
I get a few smiles from strangers, for whatever that might be worth
Must be a crazy feeling to see all your dreams come true
Like sleeping on a bed of feathers with a girl named “you”
Some people say nothing in this world is what it seems
You’ll get no argument here ‘cause I’m still looking for a guy named “me”

© 2004 & 2005 Steven Clotzman - all rights reserved